15.06.09 Motivation didn’t last long

What a pain in the butt I am, I can’t seem to make the good habits last long… had a really good week, felt really motivated at long last, felt more like the girl that completed the first challenge, went for a long bush walk with a wonderful friend on Saturday, then completely lost it again Saturday night and Sunday, straight back to the bad food choices. 

I don’t know if anyone else has their brain constantly thinking about food all the time, but mine does. I am working away on the computer or talking to people, and it is there thinking about bad choices, it doesn’t think about fruit, or good food choices though. It is really wierd, man, that other side of me has a really bad demon!

So anyway, here I am again, didn’t want to get on the scales this morning, thought I would have put on a bit , but no, totally disallusioned, yuk!!!!       Even more weight to release… I am never going to be back down to goal by the retreat. How awful, feel even more like a failure, and I know Iam supposed to see this as a challenge, not berate myself, but I am really good at beating myself up, but not so good about the positive praise. Lots to learn eh.

I know my thyroid functions got all out of wack in the winter as we don’t see any sun, lol, and that really plays havoc with energy, tiredness, motivation and moods, but I HAVE TO STOP making excuses and get on with it.

Weigh in tomorrow, and will be another gain if I don’t pull myself together. Work hard, exercise lots when I get home…. I did do 30 minutes this morning, but was just a walk, no little jogs as had no energy.

Stay strong

11.06.09 Good Mindset

Well, I can finally say for the first time on this second challenge that my mind is finally back on the job in hand and in the right frame.

It has taken a lot of weight gain and time, but am finally feeling more positive and motivated…. but it took me to realise that if I kept on eating the wrong food choices and put on the weight as quickly as I did last week, when I was so down and disgusting, it would only take me eight weeks to get back to where I had started from! Talk about mind blowing!!! and a reality check.

I am not going down that track, so have got rid of this sad self -conscious person, and got back to the motivated one, albeit a very tired one. I realised I will not do myself or the business any good being overweight and tired etc, so am now back to focusing on making time for exercise at 5am before work ,and doing another 30 minutes as soon as I get home form work, before I continue with other work.

I know I feel better after eating good choices and exercise, so that is my focus again.

I am going on the retreat now… pretty daunting as I have lost so much fitness, but as a lovely friend told me, it is a waste of energy worrying about what other people think, the most important thing, is I am going, I will do the best I can and I am back on track and this is definitely for life…. I will learn to continue at 90/10 or 80/20 and control my bad eating habits.

Have a great day, go hard and strong…. goal again , here I come